this weekend, i went to xcalibur downtown and finally rolled for the first time. i didnt exactly know what to expect. ive had friends tell me that its the best thing in the whole world, and that ill never have as much fun as i will on X, so i tried it after years of saying that i would never do it. i need to mention that i went out drinking earlier and i only had three drinks. i left from the bar and did 3 lines of cocaine. i love cocaine. it makes me feel so alive and all i wanted to do was dance. well, my source of coke ran out, so i had no choice but to roll. i decided to take half of it so this way i wouldnt freak out. about 3 minutes later, i found myself taking the whole thing. maybe it was the coke that made me so adventurous at the time, i dont know, but i wanted it. about a half hour later, i went to go to the bathroom and then i got up from the seat and found myself really dizzy. i didnt know what was going on but i figured that it was the X. so then i just went with it and everyone kept telling me to go dance and relax and that it would feel so good. i couldnt. i was feeling sick. i didnt know what to do, so i just sat down. all i remember was sitting down listening to DJ Sasha and wanting to get up and dance, but i couldnt. i felt so dizzy and confused and scared and light headed and nauseated. i found myself almost passing out on the couch. i remember watching the light show and trying to keep myself up so i wouldnt pass out and not wake up. i was getting angry at people for bouncing the couch and i kept getting hot and cold flashes and i wouldnt have been able to kick anyones ass if it came down to it because i wasnt able to move. my friend came up to me to check on me and he kept telling me to get up and dance and enjoy it, then he started rubbing my head and blowing on me and all i can say is that i didnt enjoy it at all. i wanted to be home in my bed sleeping. i felt miserable the whole time and i felt a little violent. as time went on and i entertained myself, i finally forced myself to get up and dance and enjoy the dj while i could. but then i found myself being completly normal, and wanting to go out to an after party. we left the club and it was cold and wet and when we got home, i was just laughing the whole time and he just sat there and thought i was going nuts. i was laughing hysterically at him for no reason and he didnt know why and i didnt know why at all either. we get home and i went to lay down and started to fall asleep. he woke me up to try and have sex with me and i remember telling him that all i wanted to do was just cuddle with him and for him to hold me and just lay there. i remember kissing him and it feeling really good and looking into eachothers eyes and feeling comfortable in everyway possible. then i fell asleep and periodically woke up throughout the whole night, like jumping dead out of my sleep for no reason at all. i was having freaky dreams and everything. i cant remember them much, but i know that i didnt like them at all. and then the next day, i woke up wi