now and never for-ever lay in my bed awake,
sitting & wondering when my life will go blank ?
over the past 12 months,
I rolled into the party life,
found a drug called xtc & then it started to take over my life!
every damn weekend,
& every damn night I experimented with knew highs.
found a drug that was entered in my life,
and a drug to help take over my life .
now finally at that point since kept drugs in my party life
that my tolerance is way too high!!!
not 1, not 2, not 3, but at least
6 pills of xtc
for it too hit me !
already stuck and still fucked up -
ohh shit, there almost went my life .
my nose is bleeding !
my mouth is dry !
there goes another tear that has fallen from my eye !
my body is numb !
my hands are so cold !
just finished shaking !
why's my blood pressure so high ?
I don't go to the hospital,
just act like nothing happened & continue
to believe my own lies.
that I didn't go into that ciesure,
that I didn't almost die !
a li'l over a yr. later starting slowing down on drugs.
cause I found myself in the hospital w/ electrodes
all over myself !
I have an irregular heart beat,
other problems I don't want to even tell.
stop doing the xtc,
stop snorting the K,
don't want too make mom unhappy
hearing her daughters dead,
or might be sharing a cell !
now having problems staying sober
it is putting me through hell,
must find a replacement drug to help out .
never thought I'd do it,
never this much anyway,
found a rush to keep me off other drugs & makes
me lose alot of weight !
first I took a shotgun,
then I hit the pipe
that could totally ruin my life.
5'7" was my height,
less food went into my stomach
& way less sleep at night !
can't keep letting this rush-
TAKE THIS ADDICTS
SO CALLED LIFE !!!
DOMINICA ROSE DE PILLO