Borrowed from Mixmag

Corporate logos on pills - has anyone told these companies what's going on? We did, and here's what they said.

Motorola- [In disbelief] "No! I've never heard of this! I've never heard of... any company's logos appearing on these products and it's certainly not been done with Motorola's consent. Um, I, er.. I have absolutely no idea where it's coming from, I'm sorry, and it's not something anyone from this company would have given any authorisation to or would comment on. [Nervous laughter] Oh my."

Nike- "Nike does not condone or encourage drug use at all and we are very concerned that our logo is being used in this way. The only use of the swoosh should be by Nike on our own products. Goodness!"

Rolls Royce- "Really? [Pause] I wasn't aware of this going on! You know, the mascot is called 'The Spirit of Ecstasy' - that's its actual name!" Later on, after they'd thought about it a bit, Christopher Springham, director of media relations, sent us this: "May I request that you ensure it is clear to your readers that the manufacture of ecstasy is a criminal act."

Lacoste- "I'm... I'm absolutely disgusted, hold on, just wait one second... [puts us on hold for a full five minutes] Hi, I've just spoken to head office and we're absolutely appalled and disgusted that this type of thing is going on."

Teletubbies- BBC Children's Programmes' press office: [Laughter] "You're having a laugh, aren't you? I haven't seen many two- or three-year-olds in nightclubs. [More laughter] This is so far removed from the actual programme. knowing what the makers of Teletubbies are like I don't think it's something they want, because we had a similar thing when Teletubbies appeared on acid tabs... erm..."

Giorgio Armani- "We are completely unaware of any such use of our corporate logo. We have a very strong anti-drugs policy. We will, of course, fully investigate this allegation."

Bacardi- "We're horrified. We take our trademark very seriously and anyone who uses it without our permission is infringing ou rights, which is a very serious issue. People say there's no such thing as bad publicity, but there is."

VW- "Volkswagen was not aware its logo was being used in such a way and is not happy. Such illegal use of the Volkswagon logo is not helpful commercially and Volkswagen would welcome any information which would help it take legal action to prevent such use."

Euro- EU commission, Germany: "Well..! [Laughs, then starts choking] It's... this is the first I've heard of this, [laughing again] well, er... it's exploitation... No, I do not think it will encourage clubbers to consider the benifits of the single currency! I have no documents on this so... err... I can't help."

Mitsubishi- "Yes [bored sigh], thank you very much, we are aware of it. we haven't got a comment at the moment, not to those questions anyway. You now as well as I do, this is for entertainment value... So i'm not going to answer them. I mean tis is an illegal use of or trademark and we have got absolutely nothing to do with it."